Being single is a very normal thing. We have all been there at one point or another. It’s plenty common. Like having brown eyes. Or knowing how to blink with one eye. Neither bad nor good, right nor wrong, it just is. But for those who may be desperately pondering their state of singleness – if it’s attributed to a lousy personality, frightening laugh, or braces – we have several ideas that you may or may not have thought of. Having a partner or being “taken” isn’t a superior state. It is exactly what it is: a status. Like everything else in life, its shape and form may evolve, change, or even cease to exist over time. So while you wish you could just tap your heels and the love of your life will just magically appear, you’re better off making the most of your singleness. While doing so, notice the things you do that may be contributing to your continued celibacy.
1. You are around the same people all the time.
And chances are the people with whom you surround yourself are also single. You’re all wrapped up in a cozy and comfortable zone of singleness, feigning victory of independence, and proclaiming you don’t need a man to fulfill this self-fulfilled life of yours. And these buddies of yours? They aren’t helping. They are there in support of your act, as you are of theirs.
2. You go to the same place all the damn time.
It’s one thing to be around the same people over and over again. Those friends who entertain your singleness because they too are single as can be. But it’s another to predictably situate yourself in the same café, bar, park, theatre, and store. The world is vast. If expanding your circle of friends takes a little more time, you can at least explore new places now.
3. You turn down nice guys.
Someone please hand me a sledgehammer because I’m about to beat to death this cliché: nice guys are boring. And while you’re at it, grab me a saw for: I always go for the wrong guys, they are such jerks.
4. You’re not over the last guy.
Silently hoping you might get back together again, you hold off seeing other people because you don’t want to feel guilty about “cheating” on your ex.
5. You think all men are brave souls.
Therefore they should make all the first moves. And all the other moves. But truth is, they may be just as shy as you are, contemplating their every word and move. And it’s usually the nice men who are so.
6. You think you’ll meet someone at the club.
You might. And there is nothing wrong with meeting someone over blaring music and booze. But guess what? Most guys aren’t interested in seriously dating a girl they meet at a club. Keyword: seriously. The place is so poorly lit he can’t and likely doesn’t want to imagine you in broad daylight and barefaced. His brain function is lax at best and thanks to the last four shots you dared each other to chug, you both are high as kites, until he discovers the next morning he doesn’t fancy you that much outside the club.
7. You’d rather be home in your PJ’s.
With the loyal company of your freshly renewed Netflix account and cheddar sun chips, oh and that mega cup of leftover chocolate milkshake from two nights ago, what more could you ask for?
8. You don’t take care of yourself.
You’re a gifting humanitarian to the gym downstairs (without expecting anything in return), you binge on Big Macs four times a week, and dress sloppily because you know, you kind of give up on life. What’s the point of looking good when no one is looking?
9. You don’t have your own “thing.”
Everyone has a thing—a career they love, a hobby they obsess over, a sport they practice—to keep busy. Most times you aren’t sure what to do with your free time. And you have a bucket list and so far you’ve checked off two items.
10. You are fixated on your singleness.
It’s all you can think about, at work, at home, at the grocery store, even in your sleep. You obsess over it like an itch that won’t go away. It haunts you most when, around you, there are lovers holding hands, exchanging glances, and kissing like they are there to intentionally remind you of your manifest solitude.
There’s more here: 10 Reasons Why You Are Still Single (Part 2)!