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Just My Luck

How do some of us get lucky? Sometimes all it takes is one party, one ordinary party where you meet the person who will change your life, your weekends, and well, your status. His presence makes you wonder how you ever did anything on your own before. Then there are also those of us who haven’t quite figured out the rules of the game or know them too well that most anything that comes close to being somewhat potential turns us off right from the start. Are we too picky? Are there not enough fish in the sea? Are we swimming in an empty ocean? Or has our time just not come yet? —Whatever that means.

Is destiny the answer to our quest for affairs of the heart, or do we go out there and prowl after romance? Disney flicks would have girls prioritizing looking pretty while counting on Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet and marry them the same day they meet. Reality (at least for most of us) proves otherwise. Girls, too, work for love. If they wanted to charm and be charmed, it probably wouldn’t be the wisest idea to sit at home brushing their hair all day like Rapunzel did, and wait for a random dude to pop up by the window. (If one does, please get rid of him, or at least alert the authorities). Instead, girls put a face on, step out, and make themselves known and available. The truth is, since there are more women than there are men in the world, men are considered scarce—rare goods for which women have to compete with each other. If it was the opposite, guys would no doubt be sporting more skintight trousers and loading up on a ton of hair gel to ensure a consistently good hair day in order to look their best for their predators.

Why then, do some of us get lucky? Does luck even have anything to do with it? Even before things are over with one amore, another one or two is already cooking. In fact, some of us are used to having a line of puppies queuing for us praying for a chance to dazzle us with their degree, SUV, white teeth…you name it. For the rest of us, what is it about finding romance that makes it seem impossible? Big eyes? Silky hair? Skinny build? Long legs? Glowing skin? Big brains? A big bank account?

The truth is (fortunately or unfortunately), none of these attributes answers the question completely—in the big picture, they simply don’t matter. And it is very misleading to think all guys want the same things in a girl. They don’t. Likewise, girls want different things in a guy. So it isn’t your not-skinny-enough body that’s standing in the way of your scoring a partner, even though you may tell yourself so. And ocean-blue eyes and muscles or a superb Ivy League education don’t always guarantee you a wife and kids.

What then is the password? Stop thinking, and start living. Work hard, do the things you love, take care of your body and mind. Step out of your boxes, comfort zones and boring territories and what have you. In other words, start meeting new people, make a run at a new activity, read and read some more, and play the role of protagonist in this rolling film of life—after all, it is yours.

Filed under: Get Happy


Stephanie is the founder and curator of Chléa Living, and copywriter for Chléa Consulting. A peanut butter lover and a sucker for big band music, Stephanie loves to bake, karaoke, and obsesses over making lists. Her biggest pet peeve is a messy space, which is why she loves cleaning and organizing. While she loves waking up in the morning to make a smoothie and meditate, her secret dream is to win an eating competition (shhh). Follow @stephaniejaya on Instagram for a daily dose of all things sunny, happy, and yummy!

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