From the beginning, we knew we wanted an intimate wedding. One that would be big enough to gather our closest friends and family, but small enough that it wouldn’t feel like you were walking into a carnival. We had our hearts set on a destination wedding in Bali, close enough to blue skies and clear waters and far from the hubbub of our day-to-day city lives.
R wouldn’t admit it, but I sensed that he’d been nervous since morning (or could he just be perspiring from the heat?). Our first look was when R picked me up at my suite before heading to the ceremony. He looked suave in his tux which I admired as I pinned a white peony boutonniere on his jacket. We had my parents, brother, and bridesmaids in the same room. R smiled fondly at me, and it was in this simple moment I felt we both shared a secret no one else knew.
It was a very bright and sunny day, but for some reason I wasn’t agonizing in the heat. Everything around us just felt light and breezy. R drove us to the ceremony, followed by a convoy of our parents in the back. I felt like a hippo getting in and out of the car and it was impossible to do it alone. R and the bridesmaids worked very hard.
Just before walking down the aisle, someone had asked my dad if he was nervous. Always with a kind smile, my dad said no, because he knew I was in good hands. And at that moment, all I could think of was not bellyflopping and losing my lashes to the waft. We took our time walking down the aisle as we acknowledged friends and family around us until we finally got to R, at which moment my dad gently handed me over.
I’m usually easily touched and tear up at other people’s weddings, and I was anticipating to be a mess at my own. But no fireworks from me. On the other hand, R who never cries, choked up a little which took me by surprise. For the most part, I was smiling the entire day, partly in an effort to never reveal my resting b face, and because I was happy!
On the way back from the ceremony, R and I held hands in the car (not for long because he had to focus on his shifts and gears), each donning a new accessory on our ring finger. As we rode under the sun and took it all in, R and I said to each other, in different ways, what did we just get ourselves into? We accepted there was no turning back now, and laughed at each other.