All posts tagged: girl problems

What’s A Girl To Do?

You like us skinny but we’re rewarded with cheer and a heart-to-heart pat on the back (and possibly other places) when we partake in your little weekly game of all-you-can-eat buffet of sorts. You claim to love au naturel but you, although perhaps in your mind, whistle when a 6-foot bombshell sashays along. And here we are looking down, gawkily wiping off crumbs off of our Bolognese sauce-afflicted face. Your bushy pits are a sure sign of your bona fide masculinity, while two wee stray strands of hair on our axilla would promptly activate a jesus-christ-that-is-distasteful-haven’t-you-heard-of-a-shaver-are-you-some-sort-of-gorilla reaction. Same goes for legs. While no-shave November or whatever gives you more time to contemplate on life and all, such a month exists not in our calendar. When we make attempts to talk to the cute guy at the bar, we are sluts. All night you’ve been brushing arms and elbows with eleven other girls you just met, and you are somehow a hero. You are the man. You beef about having to wait around for us so …