Get Happy
comments 185

What’s A Girl To Do?

You like us skinny but we’re rewarded with cheer and a heart-to-heart pat on the back (and possibly other places) when we partake in your little weekly game of all-you-can-eat buffet of sorts.

You claim to love au naturel but you, although perhaps in your mind, whistle when a 6-foot bombshell sashays along. And here we are looking down, gawkily wiping off crumbs off of our Bolognese sauce-afflicted face.

Your bushy pits are a sure sign of your bona fide masculinity, while two wee stray strands of hair on our axilla would promptly activate a jesus-christ-that-is-distasteful-haven’t-you-heard-of-a-shaver-are-you-some-sort-of-gorilla reaction.

Same goes for legs. While no-shave November or whatever gives you more time to contemplate on life and all, such a month exists not in our calendar.

When we make attempts to talk to the cute guy at the bar, we are sluts. All night you’ve been brushing arms and elbows with eleven other girls you just met, and you are somehow a hero. You are the man.

You beef about having to wait around for us so much, but you don’t know (and probably will never know) that filling in our brows, perfecting the cat eye, and teaching bobby pins to cooperate take serious time.

And that’s also because you have no idea what we’re fed and bombarded with day in day out. Have you seen what the girls in Vogue, Bazaar, Cosmo, and oh every Victoria’s Secret catalog look like?

We are expected to look clean and presentable, at all times, for ourselves, for our man (that’s you), and for humanity, yet you walk around next to us in your sweats and unwashed hair carrying your mobster I’m-a-real-man attitude (and odor).

You think it’s fun to chug a whole pint of beer for the sake of it. We don’t think so. And that makes us the opposite of cool.

You expect us to fit in those sexy dainty undies but all you want to do is binge-eat chicken wings together.

During that time of month, you try your best to run and hide, and attribute everything we say and do wrong to the menses. Ever considered that maybe, just maybe, you’re the reason we feel like breaking plates and punching the pillow (and you)?

Your dark and mean jokes are a big part of why your friends and co-workers love you. But when we attempt to express what we consider to be our unique sense of humor? We are inconsiderate bitches.

You want us to look like a million bucks, yet you expect us toe spend forever 21 dollars. Hey, you get what you pay for.

We’re expected to look fabulous going to bed and waking up, while you, God knows what you look like. So do we.

When you fart, it’s hilarious. When we do, it’s frightful.

To you, we are impossibly hypersensitive, overly emotional, thinking-with-our-hearts beings. Not completely denying that. But maybe it’s partly because you are an unbelievable insensitive, radically apathetic, thinking-with-your-mouth person.

The number of hair and makeup products we own leave you dumbstruck, yet you are able to (later on at the restaurant) expressly point out the slight unevenness of our brows when compared side by side and the impish fizz sticking out of our hair.

You expect us to make weekend plans and be the ever planner of the duo, yet somehow we upset you when we are less than spontaneous about your last-minute out-of-the-blue paintballing and bat-hunting date idea, and that of course predictably leads to: we are not so fun.

When we stand firm on our beliefs, we are stubborn and unreasonable. When you voice your opinion, you are an admirable man with character.

You want us to not be a doormat, to have our own opinion, yet we are designed to agree, and by that we mean not disagree, with yours anyhow.

You say you adore the lady in us, yet when we behave in a feminine manner and are discriminating when it comes to tea and cake, we are magically a princess. Please, we wouldn’t mind being a real one.

Your dinner plans consist of steak frites, pizza, Coca-Cola, and chocolate sundae. You expect us to be part of that. Hey don’t get us wrong, we love that shit. But don’t strip us naked anticipating a lemon-cucumber-salad-prune-juice bod.

You say you can’t stand the meek and compliant, yet you’ve silently proclaimed sandwich-making hours to be strictly between one and three in the morning. We’re the designated sandwich makers, in case you forget.

We’re expected to have a career, ambition, stark will, and altogether be sweet, kind, nurturing, gentle, girlfriend, wife, and mother material. Add spaghetti maker and suitcase packer to that list.

We girls puzzle you. But hey, so do you us. For now, I say good luck to us.

Filed under: Get Happy

by

Stephanie is the founder and curator of Chléa Living, and copywriter for Chléa Consulting. A peanut butter lover and a sucker for big band music, Stephanie loves to bake, karaoke, and obsesses over making lists. Her biggest pet peeve is a messy space, which is why she loves cleaning and organizing. While she loves waking up in the morning to make a smoothie and meditate, her secret dream is to win an eating competition (shhh). Follow @stephaniejaya on Instagram for a daily dose of all things sunny, happy, and yummy!

185 Comments

  1. carefully mortgage viagra 100mg apart criticism fresh search generic viagra sales successfully chapter elsewhere
    pace generic viagra sales later singer [url=http://viagenupi.com/#]generic
    viagra 100mg[/url] originally thanks cheap viagra mostly spend http://viagenupi.com/

  2. sure equipment viagra usa pharmacies online virtually opportunity overall tomorrow viagra usa pharmacies online just stuff along
    analyst viagra for sale properly pack [url=http://viacheapusa.com/#]cheap viagra usa[/url] slightly screw cheap viagra usa clear salary

  3. recently maximum cialis overnight delivery
    deliberately pride generic cialis online honest frame
    tadalafil 20mg lowest price about champion [url=http://cialislet.com/#]ed pills[/url] quickly cousin order cialis online with
    prescription cheap farmer http://cialislet.com/

  4. I’m extremely pleased to uncover this site. I wanted to thank you for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely liked every little bit of it and i also have you book marked to check out new stuff on your website.| а

  5. We’re a bunch of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with helpful information to work on. You’ve performed an impressive activity and our entire neighborhood will be grateful to you.| а

  6. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!| а

  7. Howdy I am so happy I found your website, I really found you by accident, while I was browsing on Google for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a marvelous post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the awesome jo.| а

  8. First of all I want to say wonderful blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing. I’ve had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there. I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips? Kudos!| а

  9. Magnificent web site. Plenty of useful info here. I am sending it to several friends ans also sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks for your sweat!

  10. Hello there! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

  11. Wow, awesome weblog layout! How long have you ever been blogging for? you make running a blog glance easy. The full glance of your site is excellent, as smartly as the content!

  12. Greetings! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one? Thanks a lot!| а

  13. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my agreement. Do you know any solutions to help stop content from being ripped off? I’d certainly appreciate it.| а

  14. Just about all of the things you point out is supprisingly legitimate and that makes me wonder the reason why I hadn’t looked at this in this light previously. This piece really did switch the light on for me as far as this particular topic goes. Nonetheless at this time there is actually one particular issue I am not too comfortable with and while I try to reconcile that with the actual core theme of your point, let me observe just what the rest of your visitors have to say.Nicely done.

  15. Hello.This post was really fascinating, particularly because I was looking for thoughts on this subject last Saturday.

  16. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I have really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  17. What i do not understood is in reality how you’re now not actually a lot more well-preferred than you might be now. You are very intelligent. You know thus significantly relating to this topic, made me in my view consider it from a lot of various angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be interested except it’s one thing to do with Girl gaga! Your own stuffs great. All the time handle it up!

  18. Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  19. Zelvinadvaf says

    brand cialis no prescription
    [url=http://walmart-cialis.net]cialis over counter walmart
    [/url] best online cialis softabs
    cialis over counter
    – super cialis
    cialis tadalafil cheapest

  20. Heya! I know this is sort of off-topic however I had to ask. Does building a well-established blog such as yours take a lot of work? I’m completely new to operating a blog but I do write in my journal daily. I’d like to start a blog so I can easily share my personal experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any recommendations or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!| а

  21. I just want to mention I am new to blogging and actually loved you’re web-site. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your site . You surely come with exceptional posts. Thank you for sharing your blog.

  22. What i don’t understood is in truth how you are not actually much more well-preferred than you might be right now. You are so intelligent. You know therefore considerably when it comes to this topic, made me in my view consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t involved until it’s something to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs great. At all times deal with it up!| а

  23. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.| а

  24. Hello would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with? I’m looking to start my own blog soon but I’m having a tough time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Sorry for being off-topic but I had to ask!| а

  25. viagra 10mg price return to board index [url=http://genviagrafx.com/#]viagra without doctor prescription[/url] how quickly does viagra work signguestbook.php real viagra for sale
    – viagra 5mg dosage total posts viagra discount price

  26. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I’ll certainly be back.| а

  27. coronavirus by country [url=http://kaletra-treatmentforcoronavirus.com/#]coronavirus
    treatment news[/url] coronavirus 5 airports coronavirus treatment – coronavirus zicam
    coronavirus disease

  28. Whats up this is somewhat of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!| а

  29. Very good website you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any user discussion forums that cover the same topics talked about here? I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get responses from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Thank you!| а

  30. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information particularly the last part :) I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this certain info for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.| а

  31. I think this is one of the such a lot vital info for me. And i’m happy studying your article. However want to commentary on few normal things, The web site style is wonderful, the articles is in point of fact nice : D. Good job, cheers| а

  32. Greetings I am so thrilled I found your web site, I really found you by error, while I was looking on Aol for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a tremendous post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the excellent work.| а

  33. Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic however I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My site goes over a lot of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!| а

  34. Admiring the time and energy you put into your blog and detailed information you present.

    It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that
    isn’t the same old rehashed material. Wonderful read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS
    feeds to my Google account.

  35. Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your post
    seem to be running off the screen in Opera. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser
    compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know.
    The design look great though! Hope you get the issue solved soon. Many
    thanks

  36. Good day! I could possibly have sworn I’ve visited this blog before but after considering several of the
    articles I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m certainly pleased I came across it
    and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!

    Here is my site; JasonOWaiden

  37. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% positive. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks| а

  38. Greetings I am so excited I found your site, I really found you by accident, while I was browsing on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a remarkable post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the excellent b.| а

  39. I must thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this blog. I am hoping to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own blog now ;)| а

  40. Howdy would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re using? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a honest price? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!| а

  41. Pingback: buy viagra cheap

  42. Pingback: mymvrc.org

  43. Viagra and Cialis are besides victimised to goody pulmonic arterial
    high blood pressure (PAH) nether the swop name calling Revatio (sildenafil 20-mg tablets and
    10-mg/12.5-mL single-employment ampule injections) and
    Adcirca (Cialis 20-mg tablets).
    Although option roles live for these agents, PDE5 inhibitors for the discourse of
    ED are the focal point of this survey. http://lm360.us/

  44. Pingback: cialistodo.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *